People Pleaser Not (pseuwisdom 2 : 1 -12)
26 July 2007
1 Sometimes I always think myself as people pleaser. I do that to avoid conflict (a lot) and sometimes because if i don't do what people told me to do, i have to explain my behaviour to them. I'm not a great self-explanatory person.
2 I have this great tips from wikihow, but i think there's a missing step that all the people pleaser must take which is not to avoid conflict. My mom and dad are both javanese and sometimes when i was a kid, we are tried to please other people feeling. But, i discover something about myself using steps from wikihow
3 The first one is to think of five times when you did or said something that did not truly reflect your wants and needs, in order to please someone else. Well, i can think about five times i do what i don't want, but sometimes it's for greater goods.
4 Look at your fears. You might be afraid that no one will like you. I think this is not my case. I don't afraid no one will like me. But, i'm sometimes afraid that no one will notice me.
5 Examine your ability to set limits on others. I'm a very tolerant person. Maybe that why i tends to please people.
6 Consider the source. Many people pleasers were raised in environments wherein their needs and feelings were pushed aside/not considered. Definitely not me. I always care for my needs, and sometimes maybe to much.
7 Stop basing your self-worth on how much you do for other people. Not me.
8 Learn how to say "no." Don't make up excuses - give your reasons for not wanting something. This is the most hard to do because it should provide a reason (read: a sensible reason)
9 Ask for what you want. Already done that. A lot of times.
10 Do something for yourself. Ah, i'm a self proclaimed narcissus.
11 Compromise. While it's not good to be a pushover, it's no better to be a manipulative bully or a reckless rebel. Don't become totally selfish. Yeah, definitely still need to learn on this one.
12 So, i think i'm fifty-fifty. On some occasion, i am a people pleaser and on some other cases, i can be quite selfish.
Scripture pseuwisdom
People should read this.